


We could breathe underwater.

by skyblue993



Series: Jonnor oneshots [49]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Adultery, Angst and Porn, Babies found comfort in each other's 'arms', Bastard cheating husbands, Confrontation, Hopefully everyone gets their happy ending in all this misery, I hate when plot gets in the middle of porn tbh, Jonnor - Freeform, M/M, Married Jonnor, Not to each other, Oneshot, There's a part two now, mention of divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-07 06:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10353711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblue993/pseuds/skyblue993
Summary: Connor's surprised, to say the least when he's met by Jude --Alec's husband, which is Connor's husband coworker and best friend --standing across from him with the look of someone who has just seen a ghost or something. Something horrible must have happened if Jude's showing up this late, with cheeks flushed red and scratched with tears, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy as he's been bawling his eyes out throughout the whole drive.





	1. Chapter 1

Jude shows up, unannounced in the middle of the night. Well, to be fair it's barely 11,30 pm but to Connor, never used to go to sleep past 10 pm, it's  _late._

He hears the erratic noise of a fist slamming against the wooden door, mewling choking noises coming from outside and it's enough to give him the right boost to stumble out of bed, too big and empty for his liking, and check himself why the fuck someone is attempting to knock his door down.

Connor's surprised, to say the least when he's met by Jude --Alec's husband, which is Connor's husband coworker and best friend --standing across from him with the look of someone who has just seen a ghost or something. Something horrible must have happened if Jude's showing up this late, with cheeks flushed red and scratched with tears, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy as he's been bawling his eyes out throughout the whole drive.

"What happened? Are you okay? Has something happened with Alec?"

At the mention of his husband's name, Jude's face wrinkles in utter disgust and that gives Connor the confirm that something must have happened between Jude and his husband if the way he starts spilling fresh tears down his eyes at the mention of his name is anything to go by..

"Where's your husband?" Jude asks him between sobs. Connor frowns because the question, being thrown in his face like this, catches him off guard. Jude should know very well where Emmett is. He's with Alec and the rest of their crew away for an emergency meeting in Chicago. They'll come back in two days.

"He's--"

"In Chicago?" Jude laughs. But it's more like a humorless, almost sardonic laugh. He gives a loud grunt as pulls out his phone and scrolls with trembling fingers through the pictures in the gallery, causing Connor to worry even more. Then he finds what he was looking for and smiles sadly, tapping his finger on one pic in particular and  _suddenly, it's like being struck by a lightning bolt._

"All bullshits." Jude sniffs, pressing his finger harder than necessary on the screen, just casually pointed on his husband's face, his breath coming out in short puffs of air almost as he's trying to work on his breathing.

Connor stares wide-eyed at the picture taken by Jude in which his husband and Jude's husband...

His brain even refuses to form the thought.

Words got stuck in his throat for a long moment, then he breathes out feebly, "W-where is this taken?"

"The summer house." Jude promptly replies, tracing absent mindedly the outline of Alec's face in the pic, the pleasure was written all over his face, his eyes shut in the throes of the orgasm. Jude locks his phone because the sight is enough to make him sick, once again.

Connor gives a nod of his head, the lump back in his throat makes him impossible to let out a single word. What is he supposed to say to this anyway? From the looks on their faces, they seem to be very  _acquainted_  with each other's bodies.. which now explains the long working hours, often till very late in the night, very frequent weekend working trips.. Connor sucked it up with it because he thought that Emmett was doing it to them, to the family he promised he'd never betray. All the discussions they've been engaging about wanting a baby, ending up in a big fast because of Emmett's firmly standing on his idea of not wanting to adopt a baby... now it's all clear.

"Did they see you?" Connor finally finds some strength to say something. Jude shakes his head, wiping away some tears off his face.

"No, they looked pretty into it."

Connor gives a hollow laugh, tracing the outline of his wedding band which has never felt this _meaningless,_ until this day. "Of course they were."

 

They've been standing there in complete silence, maybe plotting a revengeful plan, maybe just letting the news to sink in, When Connor finally decides it's useless to stand there on his porch, catching a cold where the could sit down on his couch, maybe lit up the fireplace and drink a drown their pain in a glass or two of wine. His sleep is ruined, anyway. They might as well share their feelings about it, have a talk on what to do when their _delightful husbands_ will come home, because there's no way in hell Connor will let this one slide and going by the scathing look of revenge written all over his face, he knows that neither will Jude.

“Do you want to come inside?”

 

"How could they." Jude repeats, shaking his head in incredulity, his voice fired up with rage. "How could they think of fooling us like this."

"I know... I know, Jude. I've been cheated on, too. Remember?” Connor's honestly proud of himself for being able to make a joke out of it for a moment, then he basks once again in his misery when he remembers that his husband actually cheated on him. It happened in real life.

"I'm going to call him."

Jude's glazed over eyes snap to Connor's, his mouth falling open in a O. "Don't you believe me?"

Connor's tempted to roll his eyes but he refrains that urge by simply explaining, "I'm gonna call and see what shit that asshole feeds me." 

"Yes, Connor. Do it!"

Jude's thirst for a payback is oozing from every pore when he pulls out his phone and starts dialing his own husband's number. Connor's hand stops him by his wrist causing Jude to look up and meet the look of _'What the fuck, dude?'_ On Connor's face. It confuses Jude a little bit so Connor explains to him.

"If we call at the same time they'll figure there's something off." Connor tells him, watching Jude give a nod of his head and mumbling a feeble ' _Right'_ as he pulls his phone back in his pocket. He's about to dial his husband's number when Jude suddenly stands up, heading towards the liquors cabinet.

"I'm about to call! Where are you going?"

“I need more wine for this.” Jude lets out a tired sigh as he opens the cabinet without even asking permission. Connor doesn't mind. He actually thinks he needs that too.

 

Connor's heart pounds in his chest like a hammer while waiting for his husband to pick up the call. He's breathing sharply through his nose, biting his lip in a way to keep a hold on himself because, honestly? Every passing second without getting an answer does nothing but fuel the fire boiling in his lower stomach that makes his stomach twist in disgust.

"The asshole is probably pulling out the condom." Jude laughs bitterly around the glass of wine, rolling his eyes when Connor's eyes glare into his own, disapprovingly.

The  _asshole_ , as Jude refers to him as, finally picks up the call and for a moment Connor's able to finally breathe again. Connor puts the phone on speaker, refusing to look over at the face Jude makes when his husband greets him through the phone with a mushy, "Hey, babe."

"Babe." Jude mouths, making a gagging noise and earning to himself an elbow in the gut from Connor.

"What was that?" Emmett asks him and Connor's for real tempted to smash that glass in Jude's face right now because, the grossed out faces he makes  _plus_  the raspy, post-sex typical voice of his husband lying to his face, do nothing but increase the desire to pull out his car and walk on those two and possibly stick the poker of the fireplace in their--

"Just a feral cat or something." Connor glares at Jude from the corner of his eyes, then he just asks, hoping to keep his voice steady, possibly lacking any possible death threats.

"What are you doing?"

Emmett's sounds surprised by the sudden question, "Huh, n-nothing much babe."

Connor's eyes narrow as he hears a noise coming from the distance on the other end of the line. He wouldn't have suspected such a thing as someone being in his husband's company, before but after Jude's showed him that pic --He offered to show Connor some more because, apparently Jude has done a photoshoot of the two of the having sex-- the simpler noise as harmless as a short intake of breath,  rings a warning bell in his head, now.

"What was that noise?"

"What noise?" Emmett asks him back with an edgy pitch in his voice, then probably realizing that he's screwing his cover up, he clears his throat. "It was probably just your imagination, babe."

"Of course it was." Connor lets out a sardonic laugh, cupping his face in his hands and rubbing his eyeballs in genuine exasperation.

"What is the hotel you're staying at called?" 

The nervous pitch in Emmett's voice is back as he asks Connor, "Why would you want to know?"

"Why wouldn't I? I've always wanted to visit Chicago. I thought we could go for our anniversary.." Connor seriously throws the lamest bait in his arsenal.  _The anniversary_. Which was three weeks ago? Which Emmett completely neglected because of  _another_  weekend out of town.

"Sure thing babe." Emmett uses his cooing voice, saying. “All my prince wants he's going to get.”

Connor's eyes flick to Jude's which was about to make another one of his gagging sounds but thank God, he stops just in time. Jude looks at him with sadness filling his eyes, because he just _knows_ and he gives an encouraging squeeze to his shoulder as to say, “You got this.”

Connor's tired of hearing Emmett's voice lying to him, to the promises he's made. He honestly feels nothing for this man, right now for what he's done to him and the promise he broke.

He won't be able to see this man ever again with the same eyes and honestly, he's not sure if he wants to.

It's too soon to make a decision but Connor knows what this means; If he even considers forgiving ho his husband, that means spending the rest of his life stressing over the number of seconds, minutes, his husband is late every single night, and one question flashes through Connor's mind at the moment.

_Is it worth to live like this?_

He knows the answer.

He's not sure if he's ready to say it out loud, yet.

 

Connor clears his mind from everything that is not a plan to expose the piece of shit so he just randomly blurts it out the umpteenth _bait_ up his sleeve.

"Wanna have skype sex?"

Jude's hand comes to grab his wrist, his eyes going wide in a way that  _silently_  screams, "What the fuck, dude?"

Connor gives him an 'I got it' look and Jude leans back against the backrest, the tensed look quickly replaced by the trust he lays in Connor on this.

"Huh.. I'd like to, baby but the board meeting with Heinsfeild exhausted me to say the least."

"I bet it did." Connor comments with an extra bitter pitch in his voice which hopefully doesn't go unnoticed by his husband.

"I'll be back soon, babe and I promise we'll have all the makeup sex you want, okay? -- Ouch! Jesus.."

Connor raises an eyebrow, asking with a dubious look on his face. "What was that?"

He hears a soft, hushing noise and then, "I hit my toe on the nightstand. Look, babe. I'm exhausted.. can we talk tomorrow?"

"Okay." Connor tells him. Because he can relate with the exhaustion his husband keeps talking about. He's personally exhausted of pretending that any of those words or that caring, loving, sickening tone in his voice is the truth. Any of that got lost the moment he slept with his best friend, who's also married to Jude.

God, what a mess.

"Goodnight." Connor hung up the phone call because right now, there's nothing worse to hear him say 'I love you' with the same mouth he's been sucking Jude's husband's dick.

 

He breathes out air he didn't even know he was holding in his lungs. Jude's hand reaches for Connor's for support and Connor's eyes slowly raise to his own. The moment their eyes met he can relate in the sensation of emptiness that fills Jude's eyes and every fiber of his being. 

" _I know_ , Connor."

Connor nods because Jude  _knows_  just as much as Connor, maybe even more since he's caught them in the act which is even worse.

Something is forever broken within these two boys, both betrayed by the one person that meant the most to them. The person that promised to love then and respect them till his last dying breath. 

Connor gives a loud sigh as to breath out all the frustration and rage and sadness out of his system but it's not enough to make him forget. He desperately wants to and right now, there's only one thing that can make him forget, even for a little while is this.

He fills his glass of wine and gobbles the whole content in one long shot under the understanding look in Jude's eyes piercing through him.

 

\----

They start a game.

There's an old sappy movie playing on tv and Jude raises his glass of wine, sounding a little tipsy when he suggests, "Let's take a sip whenever the characters act like a sickening couple." 

Connor's so on board with that, also. He's seen that movie and the characters actually have heart eyes to each other throughout the whole movie so he thinks, _what a better excuse to be drowning his sorrows with alcohol?_ as he pours to himself another glass of wine.

Jude smiles at him, from time to time around his glass of wine, with eyes bright and a little dazed over with something Connor's honestly too drunk to be able to read.

What he knows for sure is that he's genuinely happy that Jude is here, with him watching crappy movies and drinking wine without feeling the pressure of that judgemental look his husband always threw in his way whenever he even dared to fill himself a second glass of wine.

But Jude wouldn't judge him, because Jude  _knows_ what he's thinking, what he's feeling, without even having to vocalize those thoughts if not by a simple,  _knowing_  look.

He genuinely wonders why this is the first time they've been doing this, just be in each other's company as friends. They've never been that much of conversationalist, in the past, aside from sharing the habit of making awful puns that only the two of them understand or genuinely appreciate and the mutual love of ketchup on tacos. They've mostly been their husband's  _plus ones_  to every social or working related event but nothing more than that.

 _Acquaintances._  

That's all they were, before tonight. But after what Jude has done for him, Connor thinks it's safe to say that they're friends because not anyone would have driven in the middle of the night just to break the news of his husband's infidelity to him. He could have easily sent that pic on WhatsApp but Jude didn't. He just drove to Connor's house, and it's something that should be recognized.

"Jude?"

"Mmh?"

Connor scoots a bit close to him on the couch for some odd reasons he can't even explain to himself. He just figures there was no reason for them to sit _that_ far away from each other. 

"I wanted to thank you for coming here."

Jude's smile is so shy and soft that breaks a smile into Connor's face as well. He doesn't know why but it sends heat rising in his cheeks.

 _It's probably just the wine_ , he guesses, that causes his chest to fill with warmth.

"I had to." Jude just shrugs.

"You didn't."

Jude raises an eyebrow so Connor decides to elaborate his thoughts, "You could have sent me those pics or just kick their asses but you  _didn't_." Connor explains to him, genuine curiosity filling his voice. "Why didn't you?"

Jude looks down at his hands as he breathes out, "You know.. I've decided to spend the night at the beach house because I was feeling lonely, tonight." Jude admits, his lip trembling a bit as he's trying to refrain the urge to burst into tears for the zillionth time, tonight. "More than usual."

"Why?"

"My husband's been so far away from me in the last few months that I literally feel like no one gets me anymore. I just wanted some of that feeling back... and I know it's weird but the last time we were  _truly_  happy was when we spent the weekend of my birthday, there." Jude trails off on a nervous laugh, shaking his head a bit as he tells Connor.  "I know. It's just stupid."

"It's not." Connor tells him, feeling even more incited to kick the hell out of those two, now that Jude has just revealed him that. "He knew what that place meant to you and he took his skank of  _my_  husband, there."

Jude huffs a laugh, taking a sip of his wine as Connor goes on. "So no. It's not stupid and you're not stupid. He is." Then he corrects himself, a firing edge in his voice as he raises his voice, " _They are._  They're gonna get hell to pay. I promise you."

Connor raises his glass to Jude's and when their glasses clink against each other, Jude finally seems to come back to his senses as he says with just as much determination in his voice. "They certainly will."

 

\---

They fall asleep on the couch without even realizing it.

Jude's all snuggled up against his side, his head resting against Connor's shoulder in a way that should definitely make Connor feel al least a bit self-conscious about their current position. He lets him sleep for another ten minutes or so, then when he gently calls his name, Jude finally opens his eyes. He looks up and blinks around in confusion then he rubs his sleepy eyes, conjuring a smile to creep over Connor's features.

"Connor? Uh, I'm sorry.. I must have fallen asleep." 

Connor's eyes flick to his head, still resting against his shoulder but again, he does absolutely nothing to shrug him away. Jude follows the direction of his gaze and immediately jumps off him, scooting back to his position of default, glued to the armrest of the couch.

Connor hates for whatever reasons the feeling of cold washing over him, caused by the lack of Jude's warm body _glued_ to his own.

“I'm.. I'm sorry. I fell asleep.”  
Connor snaps back from the insane thought and just rubs his eyes, letting out a tired sigh.

“It's okay. I feel asleep too.”  
“I should probably go..”

Connor's eyes fall on the clock hanging on the wall, “It's two am.” He says before stretching his arms. He gets up from the couch and stares at Jude for a long, quiet moment before suggesting, “You're sleeping in our--” Then he trails off, correcting himself because this house will most likely be his, in the not so immediate future, “ _My_ guest room.”

Jude cracks a thankful smile, because he's honestly too drained out of energy to be able to drive without smashing himself to death. He stands up on buckling legs and, considering the weakness of his body, he probably shouldn't have stood up this fast because he stumbles over one of his shoes.

“Careful!” Connor yelps with a raspy voice, his arms instantly snaking around his waist so to keep Jude from falling face on the floor.

_The pace of events makes Connor's head spin._

One minute Connor's holding Jude by his waist, their eyes locked with each other as the only audible sound in the room is their heavy breaths, then Connor's eyes just casually flick to Jude's lips and the minute later, everything literally goes downhill from there.

When Connor kisses him, Jude's mouth opens up with wild desperation to him, almost as he's been waiting for ages for it.

The most rational part of him, if there's any of it left in the first place, knows that this kiss is exclusively out of spite, almost as they're both trying to cope with their hurt by falling into the arms of the only person that gets that familiar feeling of drowning that comes with being stabbed in the back like this.

Connor pulls away from a panting Jude, flushed in the face from the heat. His eyes slowly flutter open and stare into Connor's as being just awakened by a dream. Their eyes never break eye contact as they catch their breath. Connor leans into the soft touch of Jude's fingers playing with short strands of his hair, his gaze falls down once again to Jude's lips, slightly swollen and pink and so inviting that Connor doesn't really think about it twice before _diving_ back in.

There's a voice screaming in the back of his head about this being, hands down, an horrible thing to do, right now; Kissing someone in spite out the rage boiling through his veins, but Connor would be lying if he said that this isn't exactly what he needs right now, something to be able to quench that fire burning right through him.

He lies him down on the couch, settling himself between Jude's spread legs. The moment Connor's lips fall back against his own, Jude's hips arch off the couch as he's been dying to roll his hips against Connor's. Connor can't possibly deny that the feeling of Jude's cock hard and visible beneath the layers of clothes he's trapped in makes his head spin with arousal. He lets out a wounded noise when Jude's fingers tangle in his hair and tugs at it, urging him on through a desperate cry of pleasure dripping from his lips. Connor kisses the man that has been cheated on by his husband with _his_ husband and as messy and wrong and despicable as it should feel, this is also only that actually makes him feel good and makes him feel wilder than he's ever been in a long time. He realizes the way Jude moans his name, his eyes flutter shut in complete bliss and arch his back off the couch as he chases that friction, fuels a fire within him he's never sure he's experienced with his own husband. That's probably a nice change of place, being the one in control for once. Being the one deciding when it's enough. Going by the noises Jude makes against his mouth, he seems like he's totally on board with it.

"I want you naked." Connor breathes against his mouth before pecking on his pink, swollen and defiled lips. "Is that okay?"

He needs to make sure that Jude wants this just as much because He'd never do something Jude's not on board with.

Jude's eyes slowly fall open, his chest rising and falling heavily with every trembling breath he exhales and looks into Connor's eyes for a long moment without uttering a single word.  
Connor holds on his gaze without pressing any further, wondering that maybe Jude's having second thoughts. He doesn't blame him if he's thinking about leaving him alone and go home.

What they're doing is wrong and the most rational thing to do would stop immediately, but once the fire's been fueled, it's hard to quench.

Connor, in fact, already misses the sensation of those pink lips against his own. Connor's gaze hungrily follows the motion of Jude's pink tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip as he says, "I want to suck you off."

Connor lets Jude flip them over on the couch, a written smirk on his lips as he cups Connor from over the bulge in his pants. Connor makes a hissing sound, closing his eyes and melt into the soft but firm touch of Jude's hand roaming over his harden clad cock while the other one is playing with the waistband of his pajama pants.

Jude pulls them down in one smooth move along with his briefs, eyed by the hungry look in Connor's eyes the whole time.

Jude strips off his shirt and throws it on the floor along with Connor's, then he gives a soft moan as he lowers himself down until his lips are at lever with Connor's hard cock, twitching under the burning gaze of his eyes. Connor's hips bucks up involuntary as soon as he's been engulfed by the wetness of Jude's mouth wrapping around the head of his cock and then, he just loses any trace of restraint left in his weak body. He wraps his fingers into Jude's hair, bucking his hips with every swipe of his tongue over his length.

 

“Jesus, Jude.." Connor tugs at his hair harder when Jude starts bobbing his head up and down, taking Connor's length, inch by inch, into his hungry mouth.

"I want to suck your cock. I want to.. I.. fuck, yes, just like that."

Jude pulls off with a wet popping sound of his lips, swiping his tongue along the underside of Connor's cock. Connor's eyes slowly flutter open and what a wonderful sight is to be met by Jude's half-lidded eyes, staring straight at him with his mouth full of his cock.

Connor's whole body starts spasming in response to the jolts of pleasure hitting through his whole body. He moans and clenches his fingers around the rough fabric of the couch as he comes with a cry of Jude's name down his throat. Jude makes these soft, mewling noises as he swallows every drop of Connor has to feed him, then he just pulls off and licks off the remaining come leaking from the tip, closing his lips around the head. Connor's body goes through a shudder, his eyes fluttering close because Jude's mouth, God, It should be considered as the eighth wonder of the world.

"Lay down." Connor breathes out as soon as air fills his lungs once again, Jude just stares with eyes hooded with want, his tongue flicking out to lick at some come lingering over his bottom lip that would have gotten his dick already hard if it were oversensitive, right now. "Lay down," Jude smirks before fiddling with his own belt, unbuttoning his pants before standing up in order to slide the piece of clothing down his ankles. Connor's breath got short in his throat the moment Jude slides down his brief and reveals his pretty cock already leaking from the tip.  The sight makes his mouth water and his legs to move on their own accords as he suddenly stands, beneath Jude's surprised gaze, and falls down on his knees in front of Jude to worship it.

"Connor.." Jude gasps softly when Connor's mouth is suddenly on his cock, slurping and sucking around it like he's been dying to do that. Connor's hands clutch on Jude's hips, as to leverage himself and push himself deeper on Jude's hot cock. He revels in the noises he makes, realizing how he's been missing hearing those noise of genuine pleasure slipping from a man's mouth because of something _he's_ doing.

"Connor. Connor-- Jesus, I'm about to come. Stop."

Jude tugs at his hair, his mouth falling open on a gasp when Connor takes his whole length in one smooth thrust of his mouth. Connor pulls out and smiles up when he's met by the look on Jude's face, looking like drunk of arousal or something.

 

“Tell me what you want." Connor tells him between pants, his dick getting hard once again as he trails his finger to the crook of his ass, playing around his rim. Jude moans loudly at the first contact of Connor's finger with his hole, bucking his hips as to meet his finger.

Jude sounds pretty sure of what he wants and he doesn't hesitate in letting Connor know, "I want you to fuck me."

Connor shivers at those words, getting hard at the sole thought of pushing his hard cock into Jude's ass, but there's something he needs to tell him before getting into it. He leads Jude back to the couch and instructs him to lie back down.

"How do you want me?"

"I want to see your face." Connor tells him, pulling out a stash of lube and condoms stocked behind the cushions.

"Within reach." Jude observes with an eyebrow raised. Connor just shrugs, focusing on squeezing an amount of lube on his fingers.

"He liked to be prepared to the occurrence." Connor tells him with a snort. Jude bites his lips, nodding his head almost as he gets where he's coming from.

"Him too."

Words raise up his throat without realizing through a bitter laugh. "I guess we know why, now."

Jude gives a nod of his head, his smile faltering a bit from his face. Connor, of course, notices and feels the weight of what they're doing growing heavier on his chest, aside from spitting that comment quite tactfully towards Jude's feelings. He freezes with hand midair on his way to prepare Jude for his cock.

"It's stupid to ask this now but.. are you sure?"

Jude nods. Just fucking nods.

Connor needs to hear it.

"Jude, tell me." 

Jude blinks as he's slightly surprised by Connor's commanding tone. Then, he just says the words Connor desperately wants to hear.

"I want this." He spends a long moment checking for signs of hesitation in Jude's eyes but finds none, then Jude asks him the exact same question. 

"Do you want this?"

Connor tells him _yes_ through a feeble whisper coming from his throat, suddenly closed up by a lump. 

"Connor.. if you.. if you want to be alone.. I can go." Jude tells him, brushing his trembling fingers over his jaw, eliciting goosebumps to stretch across his skin. "I mean.. this is not something we should be proud of."

"I'm not." Connor tells him, sounding almost ashamed of his own words, but not for the reasons Jude thinks. 

"I'm not proud of the way I feel." 

"And How do you feel?" Jude asks him with this soft, caring tone in his voice that Connor swears, no one has ever addressed to him with.

That's the whole problem.

He doesn't feel guilty for doing this behind his husband's back because the bastard has been doing this to him for God knows how long, until today.

It's realizing that he's been missing lots of small things, he's been completely unaware of until this _thing_ with Jude happened. Like the caring tone in someone's voice filled with genuine concern, the soothing trail of fingers touching his face or his hair or someone's smile growing wide _just looking_ at him. Being able to connect with someone, sharing words and feelings just through one look. 

The problem is that Connor doesn't feel guilty at all for getting exactly what he wants. He knows that once he'll be left alone, everything will be different. Every emotion will be somehow amplified, just as the hurt of seeing his husband in the face when he'll come back knowing what he's been doing to him and knowing what he's done to him _in return._

So no, he shouldn't be proud of the way he feels but he also knows that he's never felt like this before.

It's all a big, giant mess made by anger, lust, resentment, hurt in the mix that honestly confuses Connor with each passing seconds he keeps thinking of how he's ended up here, about to have sex with his _husband's lover's husband_ and actually loving every single second of it.

"I feel.. I feel like I'm underwater and you.. you're the only thing that keeps me from drowning."

Jude's eyes go wide, his cheeks turning pink with a rosy blush coloring his pale skin.

Jude's lips part as he's about to say something, then he just closes it again deciding that whatever thing he wants to say, there's a better way to say it.

He pulls him down by the back of his neck and opens his mouth under Connor's, kissing him filthy and open mouthed and desperate as he's _drowning_ in Connor and Connor alone. Connor closes his eyes and moves his finger towards Jude's most intimate place. He slips his finger inside and moans at how tight he is.

"Jesus, how is that--"

"I never bottom." Jude tells him a raspy voice, thrusting against Connor's finger slowly moving into him.

Connor lifts his head from where it's buried against Jude's neck, a look of genuine shock flashing across his features. "W-what?"

"I'm a top." Jude.. Jude doesn't sound too happy about it.

"Oh." Connor bites his lips, crooking his finger inside a little bit. He lets out an incredulous laugh causing Jude to furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

"He never lets me top." Connor explains, smiling at the way Jude literally bursts in a wave of giggles. "Oh my God. Seriously?!"

"I'm serious!"

"Oh God.. they're so-- _I hate to be a top!"_ Jude whines between giggles. 

"I hate to be a bottom!" 

"God, who have we been married to, this whole time?" Jude makes a noise between a snort and a strangled moan when Connor slips two fingers inside, his hips bucking up just a little bit. Connor muffles the noises by pressing their lips together, brushing his fingers along his jawline. Jude likes to be touched when being kissed, he likes those reverent, soft brushes of fingers against his skin and he loves the sensation of his lips brushing over his neck. 

Connor can't get enough of the desperate noises Jude makes in his ear when he slides the third finger inside. 

"Oh, God. Oh God. It hurts.."

Connor gives a small laugh that vibrates against his neck, "I know.. but it will get better, I promise."

"Can you do it? Please? I want to come on your cock inside of me, please."

Connor's dick twitches at the wild desperation filling Jude's voice, it's more than a incentive to slid his fingers out and wear a condom. He never breaks eye  contact with Jude's eyes, brighter than he's ever seen before. He slides the condom over his length and suddenly  Jude goes completely stiff beneath him, his breathing going shallow and a small, reassuring and trusting smile on his lips which honestly makes Connor's heart stutter in his chest when the realization that once this will be over he'll most likely not be seeing Jude, hits him.

"Hey.. you okay?"

"Yes." Connor nods his head, aware that in a moment like this, he should be giving Jude reassurance and not the other way around. 

He slowly slides the tip inside, cupping Jude's cheeks with his hands and brushing his lips over his eyes, his sweaty brows, his lips in a gentle, reassuring way, when he hears him hiss in pain. 

"It's-- damn, it hurts." 

"I know.." Connor tells him, brushing his lips against his own in a soft kiss, "Just a minute and it will be gone, I promise."

Jude bites on his bottom lip as to refrain the noises of pain that want to break free, and laces his arms around Connor's neck, kind of holding on with every inch of Connor's cock adjusting into him. 

"You can move." Jude tells him through gritted teeth, sounding anything but sure. 

"A-are you sure?" 

Jude nods against his neck, then he lifts his eyes as he lets out words, "I trust you."

Those words break something within him in a way he's never experienced in his entire life.

_I trust you._

_I trust you._

Trust. What's even? Connor thinks as he pushes inside, moving a little faster than before.

He's trusted someone with everything he had to give and look how it ended. 

How Jude, that's gone through the same shitty path, can say those words and mean it? Connor's not sure if he could trust anyone, at this point, if the person he knew he could rely his trust on, stabbed him in the heart like this. 

Connor feels a tightening tug in his chest when he hears Jude crying his name in the throes of the orgasm. His name. Not his husband's, as being the one that has just sucked the orgasm out of him.

He smirks against his neck, drazing his lips over the droplets of sweat running down his collarbone as he breathes in the scent of come and Jude and sweat, filling his nostrils. 

"Wow." Jude gives a breathless laugh, snuggling against Connor's bare chest. "I literally never came so hard in my entire life."

"Thank you." Connor tells him with a bashful laugh escaping his lips, "Your husband will definitely not be pleased by this term of comparison." 

Jude suddenly goes rigid in his arms, the air turning thick with tension almost immediately. "Do you seriously think I'd come back to him after what happened?"

Connor honestly doesn't know. He doesn't know what will happen when they'll both come face to face with their husbands.

"Who knows.. you could forgive him and--"

Connor's eyes go wide because Jude was snuggled against his chest until now and now is jumping on his feet, looking for his clothes as Connor would let him leave at fucking four am but aside from that.

What the fuck did he say?

"Do you think I'm a slut just like my husband?" Jude literally roars to him, throwing one dead serious glare as he pulls his underwear back on.

"Wh-- no! Of course not!"

"I'm not taking him back! Not even if he crawls to my feet like the disgusting cockroach he is."

Connor's honestly pleased to hear that there's --was-- a chance to see Jude again in the near future but now, going by the enraged looks Jude's sending in his way, he must have screwed his chances up.

"Are you going to forgive your husband?"

Connor definitely does not trust his husband anymore but honestly.. right now he's completely high off everything happened in the last few hours that his brain is literally unable to conjure the simplest thought.

Jude, of course, takes it as a sign of hesitation. 

"I fucking knew it." 

Jude puts his shirt and shoes on beneath the blacked out look on Connor's face. Only when he sees Jude marching towards the door with keys in his hands, he seems to snap back from his comatose state.

He runs after Jude in a weak attempt to tell him that right now, he can barely utter his name without having his mind spinning but Jude actually doesn't want to listen or be touched for that matter.

"Jude!"

"Leave me alone." Jude hisses, shrugging off his hand coming to stop him by his wrist.

"Wait--"

"I'll See you in hell, Connor." Jude doesn't even turn to look at him. He just opens the door and slams it shut behind him leaving Connor basking in his own misery and self-destruction.

 

 

Jude doesn't look that surprised to see Connor standing right outside his house, there's indeed a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips that makes Connor think that Jude might actually be waiting for him to show up.

"Connor." Jude greets him politely. Connor gulps down saliva and then blurts the words through a rushed breath before he can actually chicken out.

"I left him." Again, Jude doesn't look too surprised by the news. "I couldn't bear the sight of him and-- and at first I thought it was because I was pissed and hurt and seeking some kind of revenge but then I realized that the real reason why I couldn't bear the sight of him--" 

Jude's lips part in a small gasp in response to Connor's words that are implying something he's not sure his heart is prepared to hear.

"It was because I wanted to see you. I.. I think we connected that night more than just physically and I know you feel the same. I felt it."

"I felt the same." Jude confirms with a sigh, taking a step towards him before admitting, "I'm getting a divorce."

Connor's biting his lips so hard that it might bleed out in a moment, Jude just smiles at the sight. "You're allowed to smile, you know."

"Isn't it kind of shitty to smile over such a tragedy?"

Jude's smile widens, soon replaced by an amused laugh slipping from his lips. He snakes his arms around Connor's neck and brushes their noses together before whispering against his lips, "Not if that _tragedy_ brought us together."

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Persephone Lancaster mentioned in the first chapter the lack of the 'Confrontation scene' with their respective husbands so I wrote it down :)  
> This is the whole 'In between' part before Connor went to see Jude at the beach house :) enjoy!

Jude's filling himself a glass of wine as he lets his gaze to wander over the vastness of the ocean. It's a beautiful and endearing sight to get lost into compared to the sight his husband's probably being met by, in this exact same moment. He doesn't feel guilty. Not in the slightest. Not even after he's been doing the exact same thing, after all, because since the fatal moment Jude's caught his husband with another man, he knew that that was going to be the last stop for them. Before all of this happened, Jude wouldn't have dreamed of breaking the promise of loyalty and respect he pronounced out loud before God, his family, and his closest friends, that fatidical day and now, look at him. Sipping wine while standing on the balcony of his summer house -- He's made sure that his husband had already taken off before coming in.-- as he waits for the call that will follow his husband's arrival into their home.

He can't help the humorless laugh as he imagines the face of that dirty little cheater coming home and find the  
incriminating pictures covering the whole wall, above their bed. His phone starts ringing and Jude doesn't have to check the ID caller to know who's calling him before answering.

"Alec." His voice is glacial, unaffected and the silent coming from the other end of the line does nothing but increase the sick satisfaction swelling in Jude's chest, right now.

Three seconds have passed and all Jude hears is Alec's heavy breathing.

"What have you called me for since you can't even say, "I swear I can explain?" Isn't this what you were about to say? That you accidentally fell in Connor's husband's ass and that it won't happen again?"

"No.. n-no I wasn't." Alec's voice breaks on a sob as he admits. "You don't deserve another lie to add to the pile."

Wow. Jude was expecting at least some rebuttal coming from him. It's almost disappointing.

"Oh, please..." Jude gives a hollow laugh, followed by another and another until his chest feels too heavier for the burden he's carrying him and his whole frame starts shaking. "You know, you don't get to make me feel guilty, right now. You can't just--" Jude trails off on a breathless laugh, wiping away tears with the back of his sleeve. "The moment I saw you with him, something broke and-- and I _did_ something that's supposed to be wrong but that made me feel alive like I haven't been in a very long time."

"Jude.."

"Let me finish." Jude cuts him off, taking a deep inhale of breath, "I could have easily shoved those pictures in your face, Scream at you for being such a cheater bastard but truth is, we were done way before this happened. I was just too deep in denial to accept the tragic fate of our marriage."

"I'm sorry you found out that way." Alec breathes out feebly, sounding not like his husband's voice at all. Jude also notices that Alec keeps referring to this thing like a thing that's not supposed to end anytime soon and that makes Jude understand how truly absent he's been throughout the past few years to not realize this sooner.

"Do you love him?" Jude hates himself for giving voice to that question but he needs to know if all of this mess is somehow worthy of someone, in this huge calamity of the cheating _square._

"I do."

Jude lets his eyes to fall close as soon as the words reach his ears. He was expecting at least to at least feel some pain at the admission of his husband being in love with the man he cheated on him with, but _no_. All the tears he's shed, the exhaustion taking over his body and the sleepless nights left him completely numb.

"Jude.. w-where does this lead us?"

"I think you should live your life and I.. I deserve to do the same."

"A-are we getting a divorce?”

Jude hates to think of lawyers and legal battles and anything related to that and he thinks he could seriously fry this guy's ass for all its worth but he's not going to, for starters because it takes two to tango and Jude's not exactly a saint, second of all Emmett's a serial jerk who's probably gonna get bored of him and break his heart, in the end, so his fate is kind of already written.

There's only one thing he wants.

"Yes but you know what? I won't take the house and the car or _Cinnamon_ from you.” Jude loves animals but he's more than willing to leave that abhorring chihuahua to Alec.

“I just want my happy ending."

"I want the same for you, Jude."

 

 

In another house, pretty much at the same time, things doesn't certainly take this bittersweet turn.

After being left alone with his own thoughts for two whole days, Connor's fuming. His dad called to check on him after going MIA for days, right before hearing the sound of a key turning in the lock.

"Dad, I gotta go."

"You sure you're ok--"

Connor hangs up on him before letting his dad finish his sentence. He'll apologize later. Now, he has a more pressing matter to attend to.

He stands up and tries to work on his breathing as he meets his husband halfway at the doorway.

Emmett jumps slightly as soon as he opens the door and finds Connor with arms crossed against his chest and blazing eyes glaring at him. "Hey, babe."

Connor doesn't find the strength to reply at first, He just keeps working on his breathing --doing a shitty job at it-- then asks, voice glacial and trembling, "Had fun?"

Emmett frowns at the way Connor seems to stand in his way, showing no intention to move. He closes the door behind him and lets his bag to fall with a loud thump on the floor. "Yeah.. I did." then he takes a step forward and sneaks his arm around Connor's waist, trying to pull him into a hug.

"Don't-- Please, keep your filthy hands off me." Connor spits out, shrugging off his touch and giving Emmett a forceful push that makes him stumble backward.

"What's wrong? Babe--" Connor doesn't look at him, he just closes his eyes, breathing sharply through his nose worrying Emmett with each passing second. "Baby.."

Connor's eyes shoot open in a glare, the corner of his lips twitching upwards in a sad smile as he spits out, "Do you call _him_ that?"

It's astonishing, what a great actor Emmett is. He looks completely at loss of words, confusion oozing from every pore. Maybe Connor needs to elaborate his question in a way that Emmett's underdeveloped brain can grasp. "Do you call _Alec_ that?"

Emmett's brows come together in a concerned frown as he breathes out, "Babe. I don't know what are you talking about. Alec? Why should I call Alec that?"

Connor can't deal with Emmett's attempts to play dumb, most importantly, trying to make Connor look like he's just being paranoid!

"Because you're sleeping with him?"

Emmett _fucking_ smiles, shaking his head at Connor's assumption with a quite amused pitch in his voice, "Baby, have you fall off the wagon, again?"

Connor raises his eyes to the ceiling, muttering aloud 'I can't fucking believe this shit.' before shooting a glare in his husband's direction who's still looking at him like he's lost his fucking mind.

"Don't you dare to try to make _me_ the bad guy out of this, Emmett."

Connor can't believe this shit he's putting up with, right now. "You didn't even let me put a foot in the house before throwing these accusations at me! How fucking dare you?"

Blood boils in his veins as he pulls his phone out and scrolls through the pictures in his gallery under Emmett's intensive gaze.

There's a quite pleased smirk spreading across his features as soon as he taps on the incriminating picture on his phone, then he literally shoves the phone in his husband's face, hoping he'll get the message, along with a nose bleed _(hopefully.), t_ his time.

“We're done.”

Connor's about to walk away from him, determined to pack his things and crush at his father's house for a while, when he's being forcefully dragged backward by a tight grip on his wrist. Connor's eyes go wide when his back makes contact with Emmett's chest. He tries to shrug off his disgusting touch but Emmett doesn't allow him.

"Let me go." Connor mutters through gritted teeth, "Right now."

"No.We can talk this out, baby. We can--"  Connor squeezes his eyes shut as he feels Emmett's lips brushing along his neck, the pair of lips that used to make him feel lightheaded taste now wrong. Not like _Jude's._

"We can get past this. We're gonna talk and you're gonna sit there and listen, okay? What you saw... was just a mistake, baby. You have to believe me."

"I don't." Connor breathes out, elbowing Emmett in the stomach and reveling in the hissing noise he makes out of pain. "It was just a one-time thing, I swear!"

Connor has to look away, but even if a part of him tries to convince him that, the feeling of distaste is exclusively due to what Emmett's done, another part of him knows that those eyes are not matching with the joyful, hurt, fierce eyes he's seeing in his dreams for the past few days.

"We're through." Connor sighs wearily, turning his back towards him. Connor feels unnecessary to mention Jude. Emmett doesn't deserve any explanation after what he's done but he does think it's necessary to be openly honest at least about one thing, _"For more than one reason."_

 

He feels a jerk for not being able to reach out to him, in the past few weeks but with every settling down, apartment hunting, divorce papers to fill and stuff, he has had a lot of stuff on his plate to be able to deal with his situation with Jude. Now, that his mind has been cleared off from the shock, lies, betrayal, he's finally ready to start over and his thoughts go to Jude, who's probably going through the same path as him. He's tempted to call him and he actually dials the number, one time, but then he chickens out, wondering 'What if he doesn't want to hear from me?'. Connor wouldn't blame him but Jude shouldn't blame him either, in all honestly. How could he, after digesting the sight of those pictures and his husband lying blatantly through the phone and the brain-melting orgasm crossing through his body, to think clearly? Connor was barely capable of spelling his own name, that day.

 

About one thing he's sure, though. He wants to see Jude, again. 

He has to.

 

Connor's finally unpacking all his stuff at the new apartment, two weeks later when his phone chimes in with a text notification. He can't help the smile forming on his lips as he reads the content of it. 

It's from Jude and it says.

"Connor, hey. It's Jude. (I'm assuming you still have my number.) I'm sorry if I've gone MIA for the past few weeks. It's been.. well, intense doesn't even begin to cover how it has been. I'm guessing you know the feeling. Well, I can't really know how are you since we haven't talked after that night. omg, I'm rambling through texts, how's that even possible? Lol anyway, if you ever want to talk you can find me at the beach house. Bye, Con."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might write more chapters for this. No promises, but I could.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual content ahead.

It's not like they're trying to hide their story from the rest of the world but, furthermore, neither of them finds appealing to go out and socialize.

Why would they even bother when they could just be locked away in Jude's summer house, most specifically in this bubble made of sex, awesome food and the endearing sight of the sun peeking or coming down from the vastity of the ocean?

They've created this routine that neither of them seems willing to sacrifice. After work, Connor usually comes over with take-out dinner or bottle of wine in his hand and barely has the time to greet Jude hello as the well-educated person he is, before being literally assaulted by Jude's mouth on his own. It's almost impossible for Connor to think straight about dinner, not when Jude's mouth is so fucking ravaging or how impossibly hard his clad erection is as it pressed against his thigh. They usually don't make it to the kitchen when it's like this, when the only way to quench this hunger is getting undressed and hurry to Jude's bedroom as fast as possible.

  
It's three weeks in this heavenly routine when something starts to change. Connor has just come inside and, as per usual, Jude starts undressing him within the first ten minutes.

"Missed this." Jude gives a feeble moan as Connor sucks marks all over the warm expanse of neck, as his long fingers tugs at the short strands of hair, aching for more.

"It's only been two days." Connor croaks breathlessly, rolling his eyes in the back of his head at the endearing sensation of Jude's lips biting on his lobe.

"Ugh, don't remind me.I had to find alternative ways to entertain myself." Jude whispers sultry into his ear, smirking at the way Connor's whole body's being crossed by a shudder.

"Yeah? Like what?" Connor asks him between pants, his hands fiddling with Jude's belt.

"Not gonna kiss and tell, Stevens." Jude smirks, cupping his cheeks before pulling the man in a filthy, open-mouthed kiss. Connor pops the bottom of his jeans open, eliciting a breathy gasp out of Jude's lips that gives Connor the opportunity to slide his tongue in Jude's mouth, just as his hand slides over the waistband of Jude's briefs and starts stroking his thumb over the head of his cock, already dripping with precome.

"Fuck, Jude. I barely touched you and look how hard you are for me.." Jude rests his hands on Connor's hips as to find some balance but whenever his body's this strung out with pleasure, it's kind of hard to be able to stay upright. He soon, indeed, finds himself being pushed backwards until his knees hit the edge of the mattress.

"Sit down." Connor's voice sounds rough and low-pitched as he kneels down between Jude's parted legs. Jude happily obliges, his eyelids getting heavy at the minimum contact of Connor's tongue swiping over the head of his cock. Jude's fingers are immediately drawn to Connor's hair, tugging at the strands with every bob of his head over his cock, hard and leaking into Connor's mouth.

As soon as the familiar feeling starts pooling in his lower stomach Connor pulls off with a wet pop of his mouth, there's saliva dripping from his mouth and down to his chin. He looks wrecked with want and, most importatly, like he could seriously use some relief. So he pops his jeans open and starts stroking himself beneath Jude's half lidded eyes, who's breathing heavily through his nose in utter and desperate captivation. Connor's eyes flutter shut as he goes back at sucking Jude's cock, gently and like they have all the time in the world. To Jude's eyes, this sight tops the beautiful landscape his house has to offer by a landslide.

 

 

There's nothing better than a post-orgasm, Chinese take out to cool the edge off their system although, to actually succeed that purpose, they could at least put some clothes on in order to avoid some uncomfortable boners popping in the middle of dinner; _Neither of them will probably ever learn._

"Back to bed?" Jude suggests with a cheeky smile on his lips, glancing down at the current situation that's quite screaming 'Red code' before hopping off the stool, reaching for Connor's hand, who, poor thing, is still finishing his spring rolls.

"Yes. Back to bed." Jude apparently has made the decision on his own, dragging Connor by his hand.

"But my food!"

"Take those with you." Jude laughs with a roll his eyes. Connor just complies, greedily reaching for the box before letting Jude dragging him back to his room. He's got Jude and spring rolls; What else would he want more?

  
They're a mess of limbs tangled in Jude's thin, come stained sheets wrapped messily around their waist, with a quiet yet comfortable silent fallen around them when Jude breaks the silence, after clearing his throat.

"Um, so.. People from work are praising how good Fast and Furious 8 is."

Connor does a pretty awful job at keeping his voice clear from laughter when he says, "Didn't know you were into that kind of movies?"

"Which kind of movies?"

"That kind, you know.. clandestine cars competitions and stuff."

Jude's _not_ but alas. He needed some bait to bring up a delicate subject in their brand new relationship.

"Well if you're not into it, we could simply watch the new Smurfs movie."

Connor kind of tenses up next to him and Jude's eyes immediately flicker to his features, making a weak attempt to read what's going through his mind, although he suspects has something to do with what Jude has just suggested. _A date._ Going out as people that are dating each other. The thought that Connor's not willing to be with him in the broad daylight starts creeping through his mind but luckily, before Jude can start stressing over all the reasons why Connor wouldn't want to go on a date with him, Connor speaks after a long, heavy silence, seeming to relax just a bit.

"Yeah, I.. I guess we could watch Fast and Furious.." He admits with low, slightly hesitant voice.

Jude realizes he has touched a sour spot so, unwilling to make things tense between them, he tries to withdraw by pulling it out there, "Or we could just rent some movie and watch it, here. Completely naked, obviously."

"What? No.. we should."

Jude's chest fills with happiness as he shifts on his stomach, grazing his finger over Connor's jaw. "Yeah? Y-you want to go out on a date?"

Connor seems deeply confused by the look of genuine surprise flashing across Jude's features. Why shouldn't they? It's not like they're hiding something. They're not like their former husbands. But if Jude was having that kind of doubts afflicting him, then he needs to clear them away in this exact moment.

"Of course, I want to. If you ever thought, even for a second, that I was trying to hide you--"

"No.. no, baby. No." Jude rushes to say, pressing his nose into the crook of Connor's neck. "Well, yeah. I was, but just for a second. I know you're nothing like them."

The firm kiss on his mouth pleases Jude, to say the least, but also makes Jude grow confused, “What was that? And why are you blushing?”

Connor just shrugs, his eyes sparkling with contentedness at the pet name dripping from Jude's lips with such ease that seems like made for him.

“You called me _baby_.”

Jude's cheeks heat up as he murmurs against his cheek, "Can I call you that?"

"Of course you can, Jude and, you know, I'm sorry if I made you think that.. I honestly thought you wanted to take things slow so I never brought the question up.. but I do want to go on a date with you."

"I never said anything because I thought you wanted to take things slow.." Jude admits with low voice, staring at Connor's confused frown growing across his face that makes him add, "I was more than okay to stay in here like hermits and fuck the weeks away, to be honest but you know, I kind of miss dressing up and spoil a man or getting spoiler in return.." 

"Fuck the weeks away." Connor huffs a chuckle, repeating Jude's words with a shake of his head. "I'll let you spoil me this time around. Then, next time, I'll spoil you."

Jude makes a humming noise of appreciation from the back of his throat, letting his eyes to gently flutter shut in the perfect contendness of the moment.

 _"Next time."_ He repeats before, lulling by Connor's fingers grazing in his hair, drifting off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated :)


End file.
